Words to Live By.

I recently had a dilemma. Someone broke my trust in them, and it hurt–to my core.

Then it happened again. With a different friend. And again. And all of a sudden, I started saying things like, “People suck.” And thinking things like, “Ya can’t trust people.” and “No good deed goes unpunished.”
All of a sudden, it hit me! I was developing a poor mental attitude and what Tony Robbins calls, “Life Metaphors” that simply were NOT empowering to my spirit (or health).

So I had a choice to make. Do I allow myself to feel jaded, betrayed and bitter? Do I allow it to rip my heart and trust in people enough to change my attitude towards ALL other friends in the future? Do I build walls up, and not trust people, believing them to all have anterior motives? Do I let it change me… to my core… where I begin to act differently, because of the situations I endured?

Or… Do I continue to hold my beliefs and values about how I want to treat people with kindness – no matter what. Trust people no matter what? Give them the benefit of the doubt? Even if they’re trying to deceive me behind my back?  Do I simply shrug it off, and realize they’ve got the bigger cancer growing in their heart because of the choices and decisions they’ve made with others?

It seemed hard to do this. Choice #2 seemed like a heavy weight to bear. It seemed like I was allowing myself to be a patsy. Knowing the truth, and pretending it didn’t matter that I knew better, but just didn’t let on to it. Until I had an epiphany!

Here’s what I realized: If someone is lying to you, or has betrayed you, it’s THEIR issue. It’s also their pattern. It’s how THEY treat other people in their life. But it’s also their cross to bear in their heart of deception. If I allowed their actions to change my actions – they’d have the power and their deceptive ways will have successfully spread their cancerous cells to another human being in this world.

I had to make a decision. And once I realized that I needed to stick to my core values and simply, “Be Me” no matter what, I wouldn’t allow this to “teach me that people lie”.
I realized that when people lie, betray or deceive others, it means they’re weak, and scared. They’re doing it for their own benefit and protection. They don’t have the strength of character to be real or to exercise Total Truth, no matter what the consequences might be.

It’s not about me. It’s about what they’re trying to hide, and why they don’t want you to know about it. Or what their true feelings are in their heart. Until they make their own discoveries and have an epiphany that their deceptive ways don’t serve their higher purpose in life, then all I could do is sit back, and allow them to do what they do. And move on, while I attract others into my life who ARE committed to Total Truth – no matter what. And boy, I gotta say, when you practice being open and honest with people – it’s an amaaaazing feeling!

I guess it’s legit when they say, “The Truth Shall Set You Free,” because when you’re real with people, and honest about who you are – flaws and all… you attract people who truly know you. To your core. And that’s a feeling you can’t buy. True Freedom.

Ok, so I know I’ve gone over my one minute limit here. But Thanks for listening. I hope something I’ve said will inspire you to keep on keeping on. Even if you get hurt by someone. Or some people. There are still plenty of others who share your genuine spirit who will click with you in your commitment to living authentically. Just be patient. (Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.)

In a nutshell – here’s your One Minute Motivator for the day:

Even if you get hurt, keep being YOU. Don’t change just because some people disappoint you. Instead, keep being true to what you value, and the beauty and people who share your values will be attracted to you. (instead of a jaded, altered version of who you are as a REACTION to mean people’s actions. And remember – People do the best they can with what they have. Some people truly don’t know any better. They haven’t been taught how to treat people with integrity and honesty – no matter what. We live in a cynical world. Many have learned that you must deceive in order to be accepted and get their needs met. You’re in their life to show them there IS a better way to live. #SoapBoxOver
Thanks for allowing me to share my Total Truth with you.

The Victor
By C.W. Longenecker

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

“I wanted to be an editor or a journalist, I wasn’t really interested in being an entrepreneur, but I soon found I had to become an entrepreneur in order to keep my magazine going.” — Richard Branson

How are life and coffee related? Watch the following video to find out.

Do you have any other analogies? What is life like for you? Comment below.

Nick Vujicic, a dynamic speaker, shares his life with the people who really need his vision – kids.  He has a rather unique view of the world that can enlighten us all.   Enjoy!

Fighting Wolves

An old Cherokee is telling his grandson about a fight that is going on inside him. He said it is between two wolves:

1. One is evil, with anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

2. The other is good with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one I feed.”

 Since this is Black History Month in the U.S., I wanted to post some quotes from African American optimal thinkers that we can all apply to our lives. 

“The time is always right to do what is right.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

“In America, with education and hard work, it really does not matter where you came from; it matters only where you are going.”
Condoleeza Rice

“I would like to be known as a person who is concerned about freedom and equality and justice and prosperity for all people.”
Rosa Parks

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.”
James Allen

Because today is the tenth anniversary of V-Day in the U.S, I decided to list a few woman who were victims of the violence that V-day tries to bring awareness to. V-day was born to stop violence against women and girls whether it be for religious, social or political reasons. The women below decided NOT to submit to the violence, but instead chose to fight one more round and came out on top.  Their strength and bravery is phenomenal, and a perfect example to all.

Mukhtar Mai was a victim of gang rape in Pakistan. She took this tragic and horrible situation, gathered her strength and went to authorities putting her rapists in jail. She received compensation money from the government, which she did not use for herself, but instead opened a rape crisis hotline, and opened up a girls school. Mai has received countless death threats, attacks on her school, her local village, and against her family. She remains vocal, stands strong by her school, and refuses to close it down along with the hotline she opened. Mai was awarded Bravest Woman of the Year in 2005, and praised by the UN, having been honored her for her incredible activism, heroism, and bravery.

Ayyan Hirsi Ali is best known for publicly denouncing violence against women in Islam. Fleeing an arranged marriage in Somalia in the ninenties, she sought amnesty in the Netherlands. There she learned Dutch, English, received her BA degree in Political Science, and became a member of Dutch Parliament. She left the Netherlands when Theo Van Gogh, her co producer for the documentary “Submission”, was killed by an extremist for helping her make the movie.  She speaks out today all over the world, and refuses to “submit” to the death threats and multiple attempts on her life by extremists and terrorists that try to silence her.

This American woman, Aurea McGarry, has almost survived it all. Aurea has risen above her father’s murder, a physically abusive marriage, her mother’s death of cancer, her brothers treatment of cancer and then finally her OWN battle with cancer.  Despite all of this she has evolved into a successful entrepreneur in direct sales, an ambassador in her local chamber, a sought after motivational speaker, and a director for a childrens’ church for more than thirteen years.

The flower that blooms in adversity is the most beautiful and rare of all.  Author Unknown.