April 12th, 2012
by Coach Deb · Filed Under: CONFIDENCE! · Courage · Determination · Inspiring Stories · Legacy · choices
Words to Live By.
I recently had a dilemma. Someone broke my trust in them, and it hurt–to my core.
Then it happened again. With a different friend. And again. And all of a sudden, I started saying things like, “People suck.” And thinking things like, “Ya can’t trust people.” and “No good deed goes unpunished.”
All of a sudden, it hit me! I was developing a poor mental attitude and what Tony Robbins calls, “Life Metaphors” that simply were NOT empowering to my spirit (or health).
So I had a choice to make. Do I allow myself to feel jaded, betrayed and bitter? Do I allow it to rip my heart and trust in people enough to change my attitude towards ALL other friends in the future? Do I build walls up, and not trust people, believing them to all have anterior motives? Do I let it change me… to my core… where I begin to act differently, because of the situations I endured?
Or… Do I continue to hold my beliefs and values about how I want to treat people with kindness – no matter what. Trust people no matter what? Give them the benefit of the doubt? Even if they’re trying to deceive me behind my back? Do I simply shrug it off, and realize they’ve got the bigger cancer growing in their heart because of the choices and decisions they’ve made with others?
It seemed hard to do this. Choice #2 seemed like a heavy weight to bear. It seemed like I was allowing myself to be a patsy. Knowing the truth, and pretending it didn’t matter that I knew better, but just didn’t let on to it. Until I had an epiphany!
Here’s what I realized: If someone is lying to you, or has betrayed you, it’s THEIR issue. It’s also their pattern. It’s how THEY treat other people in their life. But it’s also their cross to bear in their heart of deception. If I allowed their actions to change my actions – they’d have the power and their deceptive ways will have successfully spread their cancerous cells to another human being in this world.
I had to make a decision. And once I realized that I needed to stick to my core values and simply, “Be Me” no matter what, I wouldn’t allow this to “teach me that people lie”.
I realized that when people lie, betray or deceive others, it means they’re weak, and scared. They’re doing it for their own benefit and protection. They don’t have the strength of character to be real or to exercise Total Truth, no matter what the consequences might be.
It’s not about me. It’s about what they’re trying to hide, and why they don’t want you to know about it. Or what their true feelings are in their heart. Until they make their own discoveries and have an epiphany that their deceptive ways don’t serve their higher purpose in life, then all I could do is sit back, and allow them to do what they do. And move on, while I attract others into my life who ARE committed to Total Truth – no matter what. And boy, I gotta say, when you practice being open and honest with people – it’s an amaaaazing feeling!
I guess it’s legit when they say, “The Truth Shall Set You Free,” because when you’re real with people, and honest about who you are – flaws and all… you attract people who truly know you. To your core. And that’s a feeling you can’t buy. True Freedom.
Ok, so I know I’ve gone over my one minute limit here. But Thanks for listening. I hope something I’ve said will inspire you to keep on keeping on. Even if you get hurt by someone. Or some people. There are still plenty of others who share your genuine spirit who will click with you in your commitment to living authentically. Just be patient. (Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.)
In a nutshell – here’s your One Minute Motivator for the day:
Even if you get hurt, keep being YOU. Don’t change just because some people disappoint you. Instead, keep being true to what you value, and the beauty and people who share your values will be attracted to you. (instead of a jaded, altered version of who you are as a REACTION to mean people’s actions. And remember – People do the best they can with what they have. Some people truly don’t know any better. They haven’t been taught how to treat people with integrity and honesty – no matter what. We live in a cynical world. Many have learned that you must deceive in order to be accepted and get their needs met. You’re in their life to show them there IS a better way to live. #SoapBoxOver
Thanks for allowing me to share my Total Truth with you.
Entrepreneur / Speaker / RaceCar Driver
Deborah Cole is founder of RPM Success Group ® Inc, the leader in Social Media software, training and consulting for maximizing small business profits. Coach Deb authored the best-selling books "Secrets Of Online Persuasion" and the 1st book published on Twitter, in 2008: "Twitter Revolution" Visit her NEW Blog CoachDeb.TV to see the latest videos on Social Media Marketing.
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